If you are reading this right now and unsure if you or someone significant to you would fit into the category of struggling with sex addiction, you are not alone. Depending on one’s background, beliefs, perspectives, and numerous other contributors the term “sex addition” can mean different things for different people. With that in mind, a basic definition would be any type of sexual behavior that can be damaging to the individual, their relationship, or others. Additionally, sexual addiction often can be a behavior that is habitual where the individual is unable to stop for any significant length of time. Some examples could be pornography use, affairs, one-night stands, habitual masturbation, sexting, seeking prostitutes, sexual fantasizing, or sexual intrigue to name a few. Fortunately, there is hope in treating and changing this behavior.
Treating Sexual Addiction
Treating sexual addiction is something that can’t be done in isolation. Instead, one of the first steps is admitting there is a problem and seeking help. The good news is that help is available. In today’s age, more than any other time in history, there are numerous resources available. As you start this process, it is incredibly beneficial to work with a Certified Sexual Recovery Therapist (SRT) like myself.
One of the first steps a Sexual Recovery Therapist takes is to complete a detailed questionnaire and assessment to determine what type of sex addiction you are struggling with. At New Day 4 You, this is often completed in the first or second session, and it provides a roadmap to help guide your treatment. By the way, this also saves money in the long run because unlike traditional therapy that takes several sessions to collect history, this is gathered up front to provide feedback and answers quickly. With this as our starting point the treatment plan is developed and the unique needs for each client can be addressed that could include ongoing counseling/coaching, extended/intensive counseling sessions, support groups, online resources, workbooks, books, videos, and podcasts that support your treatment and allow for change and healing to take place.
Sexual Recovery
Stopping sexual addiction and bad habits is one thing, and for some individuals they accomplish this but don’t experience sexual recovery. For example, a married individual might stop his or her pornography addiction, but they are unable to be sexual with their spouse. Unfortunately, we meet these individuals and in talking with them a common theme we hear is a sense of pain, hopelessness, and loss. In essence they have stopped the addiction cycle, but they aren’t experiencing sexual recovery. The reasons for this vary but can include past traumatic experiences, excessive shame or guilt, rigid religious beliefs, depression, or intimacy anorexia to name a few.
Whatever the cause, we believe that our clients deep down want to experience sexual recovery and deserve the help and resources that are available to them. This can often be a very vulnerable part of our life to discuss, which we recognize and do our best to provide a safe environment for each client to explore and discover for themselves. The good news is that for those who embrace this opportunity and commit to the process, change and healing take place. For some this happens quickly and for others it can be more gradual, but no matter the pace each arrives at a destination that is far better than they could have ever imagined.
Wherever you are on your journey, we look forward to meeting and walking with you to your desired destination.